Hey, so that sh*t at Madison Square Garden was pretty insane and scary, huh? IDK about you, but as a queer woman, when I see that many Nazis in one place, all riled up, I kinda start hyperventilating and looking for my Xanax.
So, yes, Madison Square Garden was packed for Florida Man’s five-hour campaign rally "Nazis-Coming-Together-to-Be-Nazis-hate-fueled-political-pageant-and-Florida Man-branded-tchotchke-expo" that included a lineup of speakers straight out of MAGAland, all armed with the comedic prowess of a middle school bully. But before you start thinking Florida Man is the new king of New York, let’s remember: Harry Styles has sold out that same venue 15 times and counting, and people actually paid for those tickets. But I digress...
This morning, I turned to the Maddow Blog (as I usually do in times when I need to know what the smart and kind people think about the awful sh*t that just happened) and there was this little nugget about Florida Man turning up the conspiracy dial and going all-in with House Speaker Mike Johnson, teasing a “little secret” they apparently share.
In the midst of his tired old bigoted rhetoric sprinkled with noxious dog-whistling and xenophobic ramblings "weaving", America's own Hitler-with-a-brain-injury took a weird detour to wink at Johnson: “Our little secret is having a big impact. He and I have a little secret, we’ll tell you what it is when the race is over.” Subtlety was never that gasbag's forte.
So, what’s the big “secret” these two political besties are hiding? It could be many things:
Did they get matching tattoos?
Did they both give up gluten?
Is it the matching BFF anklets they wear with tiny little Constitution charms that remind them of all the parts they ignore.
Are they brewing a signature fragrance together called Smells Like MAGA, that's a heady blend of Aqua Velva, Big Macs, and a hint of legal briefs sprinkled with crushed up Adderall?
Have they found a cursed tome containing transcribed dark magic based on ancient engravings that will manifest the votes needed to put themselves in power?
Are they both keeping each other in check for no-nut November as some have speculated?
Or, going with the more disturbing theory, are they scheming up some new election-day f*cknuttery? As the Maddow Blog points out, given Johnson’s “flexible” stance on certifying elections and his, shall we say, enthusiastic history with 2020 objections, this little wink-wink-nod to the MAGA crowd feels a bit more sinister. And while it’s still unclear what, if anything, will come of this whisper campaign, I think the implications are kinda scary.
What do you think this "secret" is? (And if you want to give me wrong answers only, that's cool. I super need the giggle today.)